Tag: thirty

Notes Before 31

I begin my thirty-first trip around the sun in seven days. Trip being the key word. Life is indeed – if you open to it – it’s a great trip. Fantastic, magical. Never thought I would grow into something different than I was at twenty-two. I was so naive back then. But that’s how naivete…

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Weighing My Conscience

It is nice to be writing tonight; lately, I’ve been writing more out of compulsion and less out of habit, thus it’s felt more the product of requirement rather than inspirement, which to me is a constant. I am always the writer. This is who I am. I am first and foremost Lawrence Black the…

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On Consciously Becoming

Goals, but as a means to what end? Happiness. For I know no other that lasts; all other ends that we may pursue: sex, pride, gratification, self-satisfaction, approval, status, image, respect – these are mere vanities. Vanities chiefly fed by insecurity, which leads to that slow, creeping death of the soul we call conformity. No…

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Willow and Jaden Smith, Fuck Motivation, and a Healthy Self-Confidence

I’ve previously featured their father, Will, as one of my real life inspirations; so it’s no surprise to begin this entry tonight by writing about his two terrifically well-adjusted children, Willow and Jaden, whom I think are awesome. In a word, they are that rare thing among people – individuals – those fine persons capable of thinking and acting…

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Journal: Life is Sweet

I’m writing tonight because it’s what I do. Also, I have a duty to myself, I have a duty to write – even when I am happy – in fact, I wouldn’t even mind making a habit of it. And frankly: I am happy. And sure, life goes on: that Thai place wasn’t that great tonight,…

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What I Was

Preface: This has been an incredibly pivotal season of life for me, and I have been going through a time of radical self-realization. Tonight I took my blanket and candles to the shore for the supermoon blood lunar eclipse, and I wrote the following in reflection (Mainly) on the later part of my twenties. As…

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If Not Now, When?

So many drafts; just like my life: my business a draft, my books drafts – my success a draft – my dreams a draft. But alas, life is no rehearsal; I play starting squad on a team of one every single day. And here as I sit, shoulders haunched, stomach slightly pudge and paunch, this…

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In Darkness, Light

It’s been a long time, A long time running in the woods Crying on tree stumps, Mourning yesterday These shadow games I’ve played Setting the stakes against myself The yields of low expectations, Leading me time and time again to the precipice of my own demise Thinking, this can’t be life I never meant to…

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Dear Society

There is a pain to growing up, a hurt inherent to not knowing how to ease the woes that accompany a given life. Woes arising from the truths we dare not face; our identity naturally in opposition to anything that threatens our core underlying beliefs about who we are. These core beliefs are typically unconscious,…

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Planes or Pills

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. – Joseph Campbell I am thirty and I don’t believe in anything anymore. Only G-d and books. Love feels…

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Care of The Soul: A Recipe

I’ve been blessed, but this is gifted: I gave it to myself. It’s a simple recipe, centuries old – timeless really: I am on a blanket, under the stars, with a candlelit lantern, and a cup of homemade chai tea. Mexican Blanket: $20.00 Chai Tea: $0.35 Stanley insulated thermos: $30.00 Lantern & candle: $4.50 (flea…

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The Rules (Live By Your Own)

I have writen these to center myself by striking bedrock on the foundations of my life at thirty. It is absolutely insane that we are not all taught to define and live by our own rules. Have inner peace. This comes from listening to and following your heart. This is the essence of loving yourself.…

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The Substance of The Soul

Edit: I’m beating myself up after publishing this. It’s not that I don’t like the content, which was inspired by a conversation I had tonight with two new friends. The problem is, this is simply not the right form. There is a reason Victor Hugo wrote Les Miserables. I must work on my stories. This…

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