Some Music Feb 2020

Tonight, while on a long walk to an old haunt, I found myself singing softly to myself, as I often do when I don’t have headphones on.  And while I sang a good handful of songs, from Teegan and Sarah to 2006 OG Kanye, the following are the songs that really held me down on my long singalong walk, wherein I returned to places I never really left:

Beach Bunny, Prom Queen

“I’m no quick curl Barbie.” And while this may just be a song that stays with me for a time, as others have, it is nonetheless serving its purpose.

Also, the bridge from Painkiller is amazing:

Take me to the hospital
I need Paracetamol
Tramadol, Ketamine
I just need some pain relief

Clairo, Alewife

This album was a fucking vibe and it still is. I’m choking up, listening to this now, thinking of all the feels I’ve been through on this song the last six months.

The National, Pink Rabbits

“You didn’t see me I was falling apart. I was a white girl in a crowd of white girls in the park.”

While this album is dangerously twine with some of my deepest depression, it nonetheless continues to comfort me. Before Pink Rabbits, the song I most recently have vibed to has been Slipped.

I also found myself singing to, and being comforted by, Dope Lemon’s Fucked Things Up:

Other than that, Grimes has my attention lately, with her releases from her upcoming Miss Anthropocene (Feb 21).

On a similar alien-girl vibe: FKA Twigs’ Mary Magdalene album has remained steady in my rotation, for damn good reason.

Lastly, if you need something to sleep to, I always return to Benjamin Francis Leftwich’s Last Smoke Before the Snowstorm or the ever perfect Post Tropical, from James Vincent McMorrow. Both pair excellent with soft rain in the background. This is basically my white noise anti-anxiety recipe.

All this said, I love you and I miss you all. I hope these songs find you.

Also, if anyone has any good music to share, please comment or msg me, I’d love to hear it.

And, just so I can cry a few tiny little precious tears, I wanna show some love for Mark Knopfler’s Romeo and Juliet.  I’ll post more old one’s soon.


Artistry: Yung Lean ‘Agony’ Lyrics and Story

Wow. What a song. It reminds me of when I was 23 and I discovered Beirut. The talent is just that real. Realer. I’m older, deeper; I’m a more discerning curator. So, to find something I can just put on repeat, and be lost in while I work or write…. just nothing better.

And while I’ve been a Yung Lean fan since Gatorade days, his art has evolved to a level that’s just wow, to watch. So fucking inspiring.

Basically, there aren’t many Jonathan Leandoers. Or maybe there’s a lot of us, but we’re unknown. WE need more known. To become known.

And the best way to do that, is to feed off of the energy produced by our artistic peers. That’s what’s going to enable us to resonate at that frequency of creative expression.

This isn’t a song, this is a Goddamn Poem:

The story behind the song, according to Genius, is unreal (Are you are my brother Yung Lean?...):

This song is written about when Lean arrived back to his Dad’s house in Sweden after being in a psychiatric unit. The piano is purposefully out of tune to mimic the mental state of Lean at the time.

The last refrain is featuring a Icelandic children’s choir, recorded at the same time as the Stranger short film was recorded.

“Agony” is the most minimalistic song off the Stranger album: Lean is blunt and honest with his experience with psychosis and how this has affected his relationship.

As a bonus, I discovered this great cover by Brooklyn indie band Beach Fossils (Not as poetic as the OG, but it’s soothing AF in a Brian Wilson way) : )

Girlfriend also does something nice to my soul (Starts at 2:28):

And, interestingly, Yung Lean has released some really quality songs under his legal name: Jonatan Leandoer. Love this one, anthem.

p.s. It’s going to be a rich winter. I’m going to be publishing a lot more often, so, consider your inbox forewarned and unfollow if it’s too much.

And, for your pleasure, here are the lyrics to Agony:

Take a pill and go to sleep
I’m chasing witches in the street
I’m the last page in your book
Can’t write a song, only do hooks
Watching horses in the fields
The dragon rests in agony
When I’m afraid I lose my mind
It’s fine, it happens all the time
When I’m afraid I lose my mind
It’s fine, it happens all the time
Isolation caved in
I adore you, the sound of your skin
So many lies that I found
Blood, Heaven, I stick to the ground
So many times I realized
What I seek for is right in front of my eyes
I’m alone in a hole in the ground
A theater of dogs is still around
My furniture has come alive
I’m dancing with a candlestick tonight
Flying kites reaping outside my window
Smiles with fright
Isolation caved in
I adore you, the sound of your skin
Isolation caved in
I adore you, the sound of your skin
Isolation caved in
I adore you, the sound of your skin
And if you’re further curiosity, go to Genius for an unreal explanation of the song’s lyrics, line by line (It’s a lot deeper than you think…):
Also, this long form interview / write up on Yung Lean in the wake of his mental breakdown is pretty legit:

Music I am Feeling: Nahko Bear and Medicine For the The People, Trevor Hall, and some etc.

This past year, I listened to a lot of Little Peep, Travis Scott, Popcaanand a bunch of reverb + slowed songs; however, I’ve suddenly become aware that there is a much better soundtrack to my life out there. Not that I am hating on the above artists, as I will still listen to them (They are a part of my soundtrack too.), but there are seasons for things. My season for being “hooked on feeling good” – to borrow from Travis Scott – is over. As I remarked recently, “I’ve given up happy for peaceful”, which isn’t to say I am unhappy – au contraire – I am happier than ever, because I have more peace and self-awareness than I’ve ever had. And to that end, I’ve changed the channel in my brain from trap to vibes music.

Two artists have really led this change in me: Nahko and Medicine for The People and Trevor Hall.

Here are two fantastic songs from Nahko and Medicine For the People:

And from Trevor Hall, my favorite album right now: The Fruitful Darkness – a truly meaningfilled listening experience:

I can’t say enough of the above album. I always enjoyed Lime Tree, but this is on another level. This is straight soul medicine.

And lastly, I have to give a shout out to John Mayer. Not that he needs me as a fan, but his music has carried me through my adult life. From Continuum, which carried me through the big breakup with the first love at 23, to Born and Raised, which carried me through another big transition in life in my late twenties. Today his catalog remains in heavy rotation for me, along with Van Morrison’s work. Two bedrock artists for me.

While I don’t typically post music, I really wanted to share these artists (Nahko + Trevor Hall), as they have empowered me greatly and truly enhanced the quality of my days. I wish the same for you.

p.s. James Vincent McMorrow’s Post Tropical, Deluxe Edition has also been a very good friend to me. Listening to it is akin to cuddling with myself. 

Edit: Had to add I Am, by Satsang : )


Atomic Tom: Music Makes the Heart Grow Stronger

Music Makes the Heart Grow Stronger, from the Brooklyn based Atomic Tom. The integrity of the song speaks for itself. Enjoy it.

p.s. I have a feeling that the combination of Saturn Returning for my 29th year and the emergence of daily meditation into my life is ushering in a very prolific time for my writing, so I hope my subscribers enjoy the ride – if not, feel free to unsubscribe using the link at the bottom of my auto-generated emails.