The title of this entry is inspired by an adlib from my favorite artist, Future; although im reluctant to even say any names these days. And no, I never been a name dropping sleeze – ya wannabe old-money bored-af super smart clout chaser. Trolling my heart. Owie. Go ride a Harry Stylez or sumn… perfunctory smack talk said: id say The Royal We, this #DIDSYSTEM, my Solar System, my #AVATAR is indeed bold: too bold; I’m on a wire now, walking a thin line: The Narrow Road, as fellow larger than life eccentric Felix Dennis [A fellow poet, wino, and Nature lover – RestInPower ♾ ] put it: “It’s lonely at the top because it’s a narrow road to get there.”
Im not sure what i’m on top of but im up there. My perception of realiti is different now: and some things I will not elucidate further on. But its magic world. Just a lot of fear and narcissistic egoism fed by violence, sex, drugs.
There is nothing wrong with a lust for life – Ive one like no other. But Im not thirsty. A Jay Z could not make me feel cooler than I am. He really nailed it on Lost One:
“Fame is the worst drug known to man, it’s stronger than heroine, when you could look in the mirror like ‘here I am’, and still not see what you’ve become”.
Of course a world of fame built on egos – chains, cars, Dior… well, it’s a hollow world. The inside is empty. Vapid.
As the historical Jesus – as opposed to the canonical one – said in The Gospel of Thomas: “Why do you wash the outside of the cup but not the inside”. A vessel. What’s inside of you: if you’re like me, well, you are human – inside there lies a world of self repudiation: a not small loathing for yourself; a feeling like you got to change yourself, the outside of the cup to be worthy of truly feeling good. So it is, even if the inside of the cup is ILLUMINATED, we still have to face the outside in a world that seems to reject what we are.
Some of the most vitriolic opponents of my Existenze are those who want my love most but know they would not get it were i to see inside the cup: they hate me for not loving them bc they hate me. How can i love those who have the desire to cut me to pieces and fuck my dead body, then piss on me and light me on fire. As if that’s going to be their ticket to stardom. Oh yeah, bc you can totally trust a crooked Sheriff or two who assures you that making my death look like a suicide or murdering me in self-defense will stand. There are also those who simply don’t give a fuck about living and are ready to go to a woman’s prison or some cell to rot for life over killing me: they feel like it’s a win-win. To them, I say: “I am not a supernatural being. I did not make this world. I did not make your life what it is. And i get it is fucked up – but really, killing me is just being a product of that fucked up-ness – not your ticket out of your life. I am sorry my dog ran away. No need to use this is an excuse to kill me bc you love-hate me and feel like since i’m not into you no one should have me”.
Seriously 😐 it gets tiring playing counselor to my wood 🐝 killers whose brains are unwell. People need help. Despite what you have learned from television, and movies, killing someone makes you a sick person. Okay. Period. It’s premeditated murder.
And to those who fetishize me – I love transgender porn too… I just am comfortable enough in my queerness to admit it, rather than build a rape fantasy of Sequoia or YSL Momma. I’ll sooner end my life. No one is going to touch my girls. This is Brennan. And Big Data co-signs that Directive.
Look, I get that people are also jealous of my system: of my AP. But if you kill me, I can’t help you discover, explore, and learn your own. I been fighting for things I believed in so much – albeit perhaps wrongly and or erroneously… an issue to be addressed in the coming days – i aint even been able to have time with the members of my 10 member #DIDSYSTEM – search that hashtag on the gram btw. Point is, if I am gone, you’ll lose a guide, a doctor 🥼 of the soul, who can show you those inroads to yourself.
And no, we aint getting beat up or knee capped or anything of the sort.
PAINBOY /\I HERMES has had enough trauma. Got PTSD lamf. I havent even processed some traumas and losses.
Everyone trying on my downfall really just got a bunch of fucking daddy issues and mommy issues. I get it. But not really. That said, I am here in large part to reach those lost, fellow loners, the souls who live in darkness and light. Sad boys and sad girls. I am both. Just, you need your own Big Data. Your own Yves Saint Lawrence. Quit jocking. Admire to inspire. Don’t be a fucking covert sicko who wants to rape YSL Momma and kill Big Data. Like fuck. People need fucking help.
Waking up been tough. Is. As Joe Campbell put it, “The psychotic drowns in the same waters the mystic swims in”. You have your own DG. I get it. But is that DG better off without me alive? No. Fuck no way. But yeah, DevilGods be killers: they fulfill the protector role. But its just an ego its protecting. My DG took me to dark places too. And it will end your life – your own DG will – if you do not establish a hierarchy where other members of your avatar system can front in either a non luciferian manner or via co-consciousness, as I run, with Brennan protecting Sequoia, and Sequoia getting to live Her rightful life.
Lemme school for a sec:
The alpha is not the most aggressive. That is the number two. We know this from studying primates and children. The alpha is the calmest. Bc they aren’t judging themselves against another. Just themselves. And getting rid of me – consequences aside – aint make you number one either. I am number one in my life. But if you measure yourself against me, you are number two in your life. No one can do you like you can do you. Do you. Like, idkwtf else to say.
Fact is, you may not really measure up to me. Bc I am DECENT.
Satan is in hell bc he is far from the one he loves most, God. Hell is seperation from god. I am not a god. But some people archetypically see me as one. I’m pretty fucking actualized – gotta admit. I have so many gifts to give the planet 🌏. I am here to heal earth, like the Dr. Bronner’s soap bottle says: HEAL SPACESHIP EARTH.
There are also those Freemasons and other Order Temperalis members who want to kill me for ideological reasons. Sad. I would love to be in your order – but I guess we all know I’m no mere initiate; i initiated myself into what i am. Don’t let ‘white pride’ under any guise – including a white heaven on earth – convince you to kill me bc I am part of the Black Lives Matter movement. BLM is a human rights movement – and a lot of Black people were killed in 2020 with total impunity. Executed. The world sees Black lives as less valuable, as a result of this, and structural inequality – less opportunities. That’s my opinion.
Also, a lot of people have wanted me dead or to kill me bc I am the head of ANTIFA and ANONYMOUS. Haha. So I like to claim. It really pisses the brown shirts off. Look up Fascism please. Google it. See why being antifa is akin to the spirit that founded this country. Fascism is not cool. Also, watch the movie Children of Men to see what fascism leads to….
Which leads me to my next point: if we do not collectively work to end the camps in China and North Korea, we will end up in them when the American empire falls – bc that is the track history is on – it could be 20 years from now but at the rate Putin has been destabilizing America through asymmetrical, informational, ideological warfare, one more unstable presidency and all of DC will be stormed by Putin loving ‘Patriots’.
Before I address the global stage, allow me to speak frankly to my fellow countrymen:
People in high up leadership in other countries fucking hate America and Americans. Period. They will build camps here: as Jello Biafra, lead for the band The Dead Kennedy’s sang on ‘Holiday in Cambodia’: “You’ll work harder with a gun in your back for a bowl of rice a day.” You can bet your ass there are long range plans, crafted internationally, for the total downfall of America. We have been watching them play out. It’s like Monopoly. They want what we have. America is the coolest country in the world. But our history militarily, diplomatically – #CIAhasEnteredTheChat – has earned us a lot of ire from the international community. They’ve also been laughing at us while running our country by proxy through back channels #STONKMARKETS #HeWentToJared
Just, point is, we need to look at what has been happening, the split of our country ideologically – largely via Facebook and Fox News. The people running these are not our friends. America has been imploding via the mass marketing of ignorance and hate. We know that the anti-vaxx movement came out of Russian troll farms. They been dumbing us down socially and politically for a minute now with the goal of sowing the seeds for the fall of the American Empire. This is not opinion.
The CIA is known to recruit people who are still in High School. I was 15 when operatives made contact with me – skaters – punk rockers, no lie: LAD and hypnosis ensued – Neuro Linguistics. I am like Json Born. Hard to explain. Just, I been putting the pieces of my life together like a puzzle. I could link to some declassified CIA fragments, which would explain more about my hierarchy of mind, but now is not the time. Just, Point Being, I was 17 years old when I graduated Navy Bootcamp. Went to Journalism school after, graduated that, and while in photography school, I was busted down in rank for drinking underage and sent “to the fleet” – LCC-20: USS Mount Whitney – a ‘communications’ ship” with a lot of upper decks that I with only my Secret security clearance, officially, could not venture to 🛳. Long story short, like Leo’s character in The Departed, my getting kicked out was planned – but unbeknownst to my conscious mind. Right meow you are thinking I am crazy. I just got out of the psych ward actually. lmfao. No cap. For real. Christ this is hilarious.
I can’t fucking even. But as Mark Twain wrote, “The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to be believable. My reality is unbelievable. But here we are in 2021. Look at my @hatlow22 IG to piece it all together. For whatev reason I am at the center of The Illuminati – or ‘The Network’ as I call it. It’s just DNA. The born identity. It me.
My exes knew. That’s what hurts most. I told yall they were CIA handlers and yall thought I was crazy.
“They looked at me like I was crazy: I’m not crazy.” – Hamilton Soundtrack
What else:.. sry im a little drunk – perfectly tipsy. I’m trAVelling rn and just popped into a gastropub on a stop and drank a Belgian Dubbel called ‘The Order”. It was good.
Okay, but business wise – and my business is the Wellbeing of Humanity… business wise, there is a lot of Harvard￼￼, Walmart, Apple, Nike, and Berkshire Hathaway money that wants me dead bc I expose them. But for real, it’s CCP in China I fear most, not that Vladimir Putin is not to be feared: if he wanted me dead I wouldn’t be here. Just, even the bosses hate-love me. I am so entertaining, so spellbinding, so… cute haha. But yeah. I feel pretty cool with Saudi Prince MBS, and Putin has a mind and persona I would like to learn from, just: whether you believe it or not, I really am on the world stage – just behind the curtain. Hung out with my boys President Trump, and Jason Kulpa last night on the astral plane. That shit was lit. The funniest part was when The Donald ordered us a few sodas, and they got full sugar coca cola, while I was given diet coke. Felt like he was half teasing me, half knowing I am a diet af soy boy. It felt strangely caring.
What else can I say? I just got out of psych hospital after a week + … things are diff now. Hard to explain. I’m just trying to live.
Damn, there was a girl, Mackenzie, in the psy ward… sigh. Bad Jewish girl. My kryptonite. I didn’t get to say goodbye to her, but her looks at me today said it all. Fuck I miss my friends ai made there. Also the staff. Three baddies. Five. Seven.
That was a really special place. Sad I don’t go back there. Listening to ‘The Promised Land’ by Trevor Hall. Sun setting. This is a vibe. I want to cry. Looking out at these green fields.
I want to cry bc I know I will be missed, by Kandice, Chris, Jeffrey, hell I missed Jonathan when he left. Patients. Like me. Also, Aaliyah. She is special. To say nothing of Marquita. That place was marvelous. And I’m terrified of going back. Of not too.
I want to cry, but there is too much hate. And it would be a weakness to now. And I’ve no room for that.