Controlled chemistry, synced chemically;
We stand divided, in partitioned center,
One foot in two rivers, running forever:
Supply chained up, ironclad, on the list, For ever, the penman: my show her boat – relationship, HMS My Bitch –
OR my boat and her show, I don’t f’ing know
I’m a ghost, driven by a satellite, a kite she flies at night, weighted blanket in my lap; my mind go braaaaap, and you know thats no cap
“I’M LIVING AN EXPERIMENTAL LIFESTYLE” a la Kat Williams
Her Will is at the helm, I’m her hearth, arche type; vincere coveniunt
Guess it very convenient that i’m obedient to pussy power, cause she got me playing with my bussy in late hours, burning up like a roman candle, living I BE YOU, by Future, ripping open like stiches, suit yourself, pull the sutures unmasking fetishes of holy sin, Silver Waters, myself
Gettin hotter, my own daughter, I taught her, dont blame my parents I raised me
At my lowest never had help, hell,
But looking back nothing seems bad now,
Though at the time it was sad now, bad now,
Drunk rides home in the cab now,
Airport lights a motion blur of yellow and red, wish I had stayed mellow and read, instead of beating myself up with booze, getting beat up, earning scars like tattoos
Assholes like to throw punches at me, true
Could handle any pain but losing you, facts-machine, black like my heart and blue like the ink I use to write down sensitive things I think… because I intuit a lot,
And I love a E-Thot, so give me some fame and some @sniffyou’s and some @alicedelish’s too… “Twenty hoes and they all my roomates” trying to live roddy rich
But I’m really not such a shallow bish… like Future say, “I still fuck a average bitch”
Like Lil Baby “I be judging by the mind and heart, I ain’t really into faces” –
But also learning I can’t see people flatly, assumtively
Like Taylor Caldwell’s Bright Flows the River, wherein the beautiful girls are vapid and uncaring, and all the unnatractive are deep and substantial with better hearts – no, sometim3s conventionally unnattactive people are the most shallow: you’re a mere conquest for their esteem that once gleamed loses its sheen, becomes dull and boring, something to be mean to, like, “Go away, you’re obviously a loser if you want me”
These types are legit angry, and a mirror thats not good enough for its3lf does not reflect healthily, does not see beauty;
Just their insecurities amplified on me, so that my broken nose, my crooked teeth are all they see…
I think I’ll never “fix them” bc I need flaws to help show me see who is who, when I can’t even tell myself… bc I love all of you, like a little baby monkey, clingy;
Fucking true true, blow me
I just don’t want to go back to beautiful girls who grew up easy, tried that 3 or 4 times, believe me
I’m not here to please thee who has used the world blindly, ingratiates, Geoffrey
Dads, please stop raising princesses, we need Queens, I need a girl whose self esteem isn’t dependent upon me, not informed by what she saw on TV, they wanted couch disick not someone actually like me
I break all patterns of masculinity, and this viewed as weakness: perceived by the world so erroneously, never for better either – can’t live up to it, and I can’t live up to your yardstick, so you just take this dick and resent the rest of me
Take my chance to feel loved and let me leave with the rest of me… half emptied,
Of cum and hope…
Yeah, humans sure differ from one to the next, and the older I grow, the more I remember what a cute girl said to me in sprouts last September:
“There is every kind of person on the planet”
Goddamn is there ever:
And I’m fine being a misanthrope – there are, in-fact, large numbers of really special, super kind, and often ignored and ir bullied individuals who “prefer the company of animals”… and I see why…
Animals take in your energy, not measure you against a corporatized model of self, a societal more of “how people are supposed to be”
We humans have a history of criminalizing people who are different from us, its how bad leaders gain power among people who do not think for themselves, “America”, the team thats against itself, its own people, people who are Black, Brown, Queer, Poor, everywhere… because ‘thats not American’;
Not their shitty white-christian ethnostate
No, that’s an America where its not fair that people be afforded food and housing…
That’s one difference from our primate cousins, the hunters feed the bystanders…
But can’t share the kill with us, when the kill is us:
Homelessness is a feature of capitalism that works as the republican capitalist gestalt want it to… with fear to be homeless and the harshest judgements for those who are… they are the malfunctions… not a system who treats people with less opportunity worse than those with more… no, something is wrong with that person if they are struggling…
Well, excuse me for being born in a factory form with an education system controlled by money, literally determined by the world bank and the world economic form… ive seen the PDFs from them, their agendas past and present, they are shaping the world as they see it, bc money fucking runs this world bitch – got none: you’re worthless, struggling, oh, dear, you have “issues”
This collective agreement we call reality in America is tearing…
And our politics are fucking tribal, driven by full of shit people in a full of shit system…
The American Lens, white, worships a white god, is shaped by white men… and they won’t release their grip on the soul of our country because, “We’re the good guys, right dad?”
Dad: “Of course, we’re white”
That’s the american brand, the cowboy,
A romanticization of colonization,
This “civilation”… theirs, not no damn Black, Brown, Queer, Liberal, “radical leftist anarchists” who “want to destroy America”
Homies, America was never great unless you were rich, white, and straight
And you were never worthwhile if you could do nothing for them, could not serve them or their worldview of a world where its just white people, and maybe some Black and Brown, if they are conservative, meaning “if they know their place”;
Fuck god, this american identity is toxic
And its all based on fear, this culture war
Fear demonizes shadows, I mean, all these Black people killed by police were guilty in their minds, and the punishment was just fine with them… justice… literally has become a fucking perversion… the opposite of poverty isnt wealth, it’s justice –
There is no justice for those who do not know their place in a system run by those whose job it is to put you in yours…
America is a dominance based culture, ran by fear, intimidation, and voilence –
Its ugliness a product of its own insecurities… a projection of itself that cant even see itself bc America beautifies its ugliness under the identity of religion (AKA, a white man made the world), patriotism, aka, “team white america blue lives matter fuck you, I got mine, and if I ain’t, you sure as hell don’t deserve shit, your worthless un-american piece of shit”
America: “we may br white trash, but at least we arent brown”
Maybe a country getting its entire identity from the worthlessness of others… like, guys, America ain’t the best, our cops are shooting Black People, and we are a racist, transphobic, classist, anti-poor, collectivist group of hollaring white supremecist assholes, who are terrible to animals and the most helpless in society, America is just a “might is right” bully
It’s the least aware kid at the dance… and its become the protector and ally to nations that are even worse to their people… China, Saudi Arabia, Russia.. if they got trade, oil, or money, we fux w em
The problem is these nations bully other nations, Yemen, Syriah, North Korea – god that place needs to be fucking liberated…
But yeah, we don’t care about those “shitholes” … its like, damnit America, you could have had the money and the control over these countries, but we sold them the control back… and they bought it with flattery… to sycophant psychopaths –
Prep school politics, ivy leage priviledge
And rules for everybody but them… the higher up on the american scale, the less rules… the lower dowm on the american scale, the more rules:
And the American scale is weighted by power, money, appearances, and control over others – which is different than power, Obama had power, trump has control over others… this is more frightening than power – because in an era of identity politics and stochastic terrorism, the crimes depend on who committed them
It’s like, jesus, assholes dont think they are assholes… thats what makes them assholes… ‘the narcicists prayer’ is America:
“That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did… You deserved.”
The fact is, this country has been in a cold war against its people, based on power and control, since it was stolen from the indigenous, the “indans”, who were always the enemy of the cowboys in the movies …
They made us all indians – everyone who is different… we are treated as foreigners in our own country, but they dont think its our’s, they think we are the decline of their country… “and the home of thr brave”…
Our national anthem, the star spangled banner is a monument to war and white colonization and control, written by a slave owner and shitty poet, who declared in a verse we dont sing anymore, that “No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave: And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave, O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave”….
You’re anti American!
You’re goddamn fucking right, I am –
Whats to be pro-american about?
DEMOCRACY? this perversion, these unfuckables… this american brand of fox news dog whistle nazism, and facebook karenism?
This generational white-ism, cis het bullyism, we co-sign the biggest human rights violators… blood all over the world is on our hands… we are keeping the people in the camps in china, north korea, the poor, poor and ignorant, “the clintons”
We are up against fucking qanon idiots who think trump is saving the world from evil pedos, when he himself is an evil pedo….
I go to look at my porn – mostly cosplay shit bc I like ahegao lol – and I see the top 3 “trending searches”:
1. “Drunk girl”
2. “Daddy daughter real”
3. “Hidden camera”
Its like, wow, shit is rapey as fuck… another top search is “forcefully fucked” –
Look, i’m not here to kinkshame, I just, I find that those are the top / trending searches to be telling about the psyche of america… like, I like roleplay too, just, not drunk girls, hidden cameras, and actual incest rape… but that’s what gets them off… why would “drunk girls” turn you on unless you take advantage of girls while they are incapacitated… “I like beer okay”, as that fucking rapist supreme court judge said
Another media spectacle displaying the place of the white man as unimpeachable,
These people think Kyle Rittenhouse is a hero… “now thats how you do it”…
And the kid will get his sentence, becuase our judicial system still has semblance of justice, but in the public court of opinion, he was acquitted of the charges bc we dont have leaders who condemn white terrorists, and I don’t even need to say male… like, obvi the world has a male problem… but also, its beyond gender,
My own mom and sister are very patriarichal… I mean, they supported my dads tyranny over me, which became familial… so that in a patriarichal toxic house, I, a sensitive, effeminate queer, was the enemy to my Dad’s patriarchy, and then, later, my brother in laws, who has stolen my family… another asshole man defended as right over me, I’m bitter –
I fucking hate priviledged entitled people bc they have to judge others as unworthy for their own unearned worth… and anyone who tries to buck that cisgender hereto old over young male white narrative is gaslit and expelled – society does the same to its dissidents… the arts are filled with rich kids, they could afford to be artists, to make it their unsubstantial calling, and they had the confidence and self-esteem to believe in themselves…. rappers are my heroes, but even then, DaBaby and Roddy Rich and Young Boy NBA are all very pretty,
We like beauty – I find black men attractive… because they fucking are…
White got an inferiority complex… no bro, its not the size of your dick thats the issue, its that you got small dick energy, you got that “drunk girl” porn search energy –
To say nothing of the realities Black Woman face in a world that has demeaned the womxn of color more than anyone else…
Vietnam, yeah, our troops raped and killed a lot of woman there…. but they were brown so its okay /s – besides, oUr MILiTARy is HeRoEzs, yeah no… not automatically everyone a hero… but apparently in America they are, since the “support our troops” people have a very GOP vibe, and, its team fucking america all the way baby…
But all the way to what?
I’m just growing up,
But I want my country to… only, these fucking right wing christian propagandists have spent fifty years mobilising their base, and now we have a generational problem, one thats growing, one that will never go away… as has been said, ‘Trump didnt build a wall around America, but the world did’ – I can’t even travel anywhere,
and the world loathed America long before trump… like, can you imagine the Russsians and Saudis flattering and kompromising the fuck out of our leaders… bc thats what they do… buddy, I don’t care if you’re a fucking general, you’re a laughingstock to the enemies of your nation, but youve all made yourself heroes, bc the enemy is within the US… fox news, our state sponsored white terrorism network… the least ethical people are always the most moralizing… and its to the point where we as a society are casting all our darkness onto others to signal our own virtue, but we havent any
America’s not a virgin anymore, weve been fucked… but worse than fucked, we’ve been cucked by Russia, Saudi Arabia, and China… these countries own our politics
It’s just all stock market shit… Power that has gotten more out of control… like, when will we realize that Apple, Nike, and Harvard are full of shit brands
Oh wait, never bc we don’t even see how full of shit we are, bc full of shit people are running shit, and their kids are in prep schools, all the entitlement of white America is in their veins… everything given them… their worth based on the dominance over and the devaluing of others….
We live in a society,
May all beings be happy and free – and until they are, the real brave, the real heroes will be with them, and in them, among those who suffer and live in hell, so Kyle and Kelly can live in heaven…
I just wish they were all in Montana… only, its everywhere, Kardashian, Trump, these vapid fucking children of priviledge is who we are worshipping… what would their jesus be like? They don’t even know virtue, humanity, compassion, empathy
They don’t know a fucking thing,
Just kill it, fuck it, eat it… control it, oppress it…
Like, there are no more good Americans, just good people in America… the Americans, that bradwagon, chad and stacy, they’re fucking horrible….
It’s not the ugly American, its ugly America…
“If you don’t like it fucking leave”,
Yeah, I think a lot of us will, thank you
But I can’t leave the people behind, bc there are good kids in bad houses, I was one… only, they made me “the bad kid” –
And that’s what the American brand has done to all its most vulnerable, kind, empathetic… we’re just pussies to them, to taunt, to fuck, to hate
And our biggest parriots are the most Nazi..
Because that’s the American brand… and I’m afraid it will never see itself –
Just two camps:
1. racist white patriarchy
2. the others
And, let me tell you, having growm up poor, queer, neurodivergent… its not fun to be the others in a world that precludes you from being valued… ive been beat up a lot, and the people I thought loved me all thought I must have deserved it…
That’s kind of the bottom line under all these injustices is that they are all falsely justified as what the others deserve… based on the demonization of the other, who is not white, cis, straight… not American as they see it, not fit to live in America, not fit to have what they do, to feel worthy, or god forbid feel superior to the almighty white man… insecure because they have every reason to be
Beleive me, these fucking mainstream American nazis are going down in history as the hateful, ignorant, cruel people they are…
Problem is, we’re going down with them..
Instead of passing relief, they are shoving a GOP brand judge through who is a fucking lapdog to white christian patriarchy…
Our whole system is fucked,
I don’t think we can take America back, I think its gone, I think it never was great, just a story written by the victors…
When will we win?
When it is safe to be Black, Trans, different… because its gotten less safe;
We lost so much ground from the Obama recoil, the great white revenge… they said the south would rise again… just didnt expect it to be repackaged as a bunch of fucking white male superhero movies, assholes in Dodge chargers, and “law and order” by way of police executions without trial nor consequence…. “patriotism” is “whiteism” and like a lot of problematic isms, its patriarichal …. and the patrairchy, the cis het male system of control over women has a lot of women on its side, holding onto the white virtue they dont have, these nazi shitbag-maga princesses were never great, nor is or was your man…
What the fuck else can I say,
My country is full of shit, unwelcoming, and they fucking love it… they wanna keep it great… and if we get a Biden presidency, the right media will triple down on the gaslight hypnosis of their base… it will get worse…. and oneday, it could be too late… if only we had gotten out…. I fear this…. a division of our america… its already here
How blind can we be?
They demonize minorities, deny healthcare to the poor, and rob all the others of their worth
Cops treat me like an alien
And I feel like one…
It went from Not My President, to Not My Country, to not my world
How, how on earth can our species be so fucking awful to the animals, the planet, and the most vulnerable?
There is a great discompassion towards others…. they dont care but think people who dont care about them do bc those people care for their interests…
And their interest are fucking dispicable,
But they make us, the others out to be
What is it called when all the people who belong in hell are in heaven and all the people who belong in heaven are in hell?
Capitalism, or America
Are they not the same?
They made the wild west wild,
Weapons, power, entitlement… stole the land, murdered the people, and claimed they founded America
Fuck your founding fathers,
Jefferson, Franklin, dispicable men – fitting their image is on our dispicable money, we’re a fucking dispicable country… but we got trade and money so Orange aint all that sus to the nations milking us for all we’re worth, we dont defend democracy, we defend totalitarian corporatocracy, around the world, and Space X is promising 1 hour weapon delivery anywhere… just in case anyone forgot America has the biggest dick… only a little smaller than Vladamir’s and Xi Jinping’s, but totally bigger than North Koreas, like totally way big
Fuck you America
I am dissapointed in you, I thought you were better, sadly, you are not, never were, never will be, America is done… put a bullet in me, and i’m just the messenger… people have hated me for telling the truth my whole life –
And the truth is, America is as bad as China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, these are our fucking homies now… some “bad hombres”
I’d love to salute Germany or The UK as new bastions of freedom, but they too have their populist nationalism… it just hasnt polluted the whole nation yet, taken over
Freedom isnt freedom
Bravery isnt brave
And we don’t want to live up to this anymore, the mirror is shattered… the pretty are ugly and the beautiful debased
I wish for myself and my fellow heart-centered compassionate citizens to seriously consider leaving this country, I wish I had a better answer… its just, its not leaving to get away from the government but the people, who have become the control
It’s not a thin blue line, it’s a fat white one
And America is blasted out of its fucking mind on its own linitless supply of bullshit and self delusion
There’s no saving it either
The republic has broken up, its citizens pushed into a cold civil war, and I don’t think you can leave that war as long as you are in America, its everywhere, in millions of poisoned hearts and minds, running fear 3.0, the southern strategy revised, expanded, clasist and self-hating
You Y’all Quaeda motherfuckers are a different species… I never understood evil, never will, but I can see it now, in a million houses, eating a billion poor animals raised in hell, raising their kids in hell, to either be demons or if they are angels, to suffer
It’s just like,
We can’t suffer forever
I thought forest living would save me, but the police harass me all the fucking time when I go to town – bc to them, a liberal like me, who loves Black, Brown, and Indigenous, all People of Color, all sexualities, all genders… I’m a fucking threat to their way of life, to god and country
I say fuck god
In Megan Thee Stallions name I pray, and by the grace of Cardi B, may Navalny and all thorns in the sides of dickheads everywhere prevail
Free the Uighur Muslims in China, free Hong Kong,
Free North Korea, Liberate Yemen… we could do all that… but instead we’re a school shooter: a white nationalist ethnostate, a country of fucking sycophants, rapey frat boys, and idiots, they’re the same person, and it’s the same America only more hollow, but that’s the cost of freedom… gotta mind fuck the whole population with a manufactured culture of control – fuck consent, America dont need no consent… they taught us to be helpless, and we learned to love it….
What more can I say? Our country has been cucked by cucks…. I’m just an observer…. I didnt do this… I do not support this, and America hates me too …. goddamnit they do, donkeys and elephants what the fuck.