Wellbutrin

It’s hard to return to form,
After my last poem felt like pissing myself in public – the evidence of my pettiness: vulgar –
No Diogenes am I
But what am I to do, erase it, like some photo, imperfect – nah,
Rather honor depression, though it hath left such deep lesions,
And in them, seemingly no lessons;
Sometimes we just stumble, fall
Go mad with vegan-2-a-day-yoga-induced-b-12-deficiency, kundalini rising, hard and fast –
Yeah, we burn up in those atmospheres, where the body has gone too far…
Not my first rodeo, you could say
The avatar having ridden the hell out of my body a time or two before;
Sometimes the plane crashes into the mountain: we’re but small pilots, petit aviators,
Little Princes of our own delusions, lofty, sad, or lonely may they be
I just wish you the strength, to endure the years,
Finding something sexy in your face, each day, forever –
But you’ve never feared that, no, not time;
However, eternity is pretty frightening – haha
I just want this pain to have been worth it
Because I think I can connect the dots all the way,
And I think I can grow older, shedding youthful fears,
Becoming more beautiful, in doing so
Knowing that everytime time haunts me,
I can evolve the story, catch up to the plot, fall more for the protagonist,
Give them a better script to live
Allotting more self-compassion and gaining peace and happiness in a harmonic symphony,
Realizing no ex or demon of mine has the story for my life, the sum total of who I am
Yeah, bubba fucked some things up
But I’m not without love for our time –
Though, moving on
I’m getting ready for my small years now, done trying to live big –
All I care for is wordcounts, and a decent living to pave lonely roads
I’ll still keep growing:
Fall off the horse, get back on – you’re fucking attached to it anyway,
The mind just the rider,
Breathing, speaking, thinking, these the trinity of avatar pawnage:
It’s but a metaphor, and a great movie,
But you’re no James Cameron, no Christopher Nolan,
Only can be the pilot of this wild-west meat skeleton,
Westworld
VALIS more like it –
The conspiracy is whatever you think
Redefine, Rewrite, Return….
Start Here:
Wellbutrin

Published by

Sequoia Silverman

@baby.sequoia

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