Month: November 2018

A Dream, A Map

It was Freud, Jung’s mentor, who called dreams ‘The royal road to the unconscious.” Jung himself believed that dreams were how we came to discover the unconscious myths guiding our lives. I recently had such a dream, so clear, so well constructed, that it was a revelation. Perhaps it came because, having quit Cannabis, my…

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unconditional

outcomes and incomes, and what the judge says who knows i just have these damn wants these sufferings these attachments: the things i count on, they whittle at me in uncommon hours even after i gave up escapes; tired of being a dopamine fiend, i traded fear for calm and trust, (but i still need…

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No-Nut Level: God Mode Activated

This has been a fruitful season of my life. Full of growth: I’ve learned to be truly alone and emotionally independent. I’ve overcome fear, worry, self-doubt I’ve come to agree full-stop with John Mayer, that “Drinking is a fucking con.” I’ve finally quit my on-again, off-again relationship with organic American Spirits (‘But they’re organic!’). I’ve…

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Courting Your Fate

I have to write a bit; this is where I program myself, where I reflect back what I am. And I’m moving into the life I believe I deserve. I recently took a quantum leap and faced my deepest fears. Up and to dying. And that was the one I accepted. And it made all…

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Loomings: My Life and Dreams

I come here for pharmakon, the healing act of writing: I need it as I’m rediscovering myself as an adult, seeing my light and dark in their full brilliance. And, really, I just want to trust myself, that I will follow my inner voice. Fear can make people do funny things. It’s made me forget…

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Savor It

Dear boy, you want love, But it takes steps, Listening to Ariana Grande’s, ‘Thank You, Next’ It’s crazy, You look at Bradley Cooper and think, “one day, thatt’ll be me” Just grown, With my Stefani, The Fame, Crown prince of the pen game And damn, maybe I’ll find her when I’m 40, So until then,…

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Le Cost

I need love But all I got’s a bong and a Peep song Ain’t nothin’ wrong, it’ll do, Beats being sad with you And I’m still gonna break your heart for leavin’ Stuntin’ in La Lolla like Cary Grant, best believe it … What the fuck they ever think I was gonna be, So go…

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Phone on Silent 

I turn my phone on silent: and turn my heart off Because I can’t take it, This ignore-ance, Ignoring Lawrence So I’m in bed at nine these days – Just like Stratford Court days But I’m dead to her too, So she can eat my dust too; Because I’m dead to them all… And I…

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Ghostbusters

When I bust my ghosts, there is no one to call My radiant will accomplishes: look mom, look… But only I see, only I am here I, fool to my exes, exile to my freinds Hunter-warrior, on edge of society I shall run the borders of this town, declare myself protector Say, ‘you don’t see……

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Magician’s Ode To Self

When I have good news, I am most lonely, Having no one to share it with No one to be proud of me, Astounded at my magic The radiant force of my Will: Omnipotent, cause of causes And so the magician is lonely, This Wolf. Waldo. Black. And so, I will never forget who was…

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This Pain, Uncommon Thoughts

There were no old men who came before me, Not a soul who wrote a goddamn-fucking thing down!!! Nothing passed on but these well-worn genetics: For this I am ashamed How the fuck does this happen? Tragedy And I’m born into it What the hell happened – Exiled into this world, In my mountain home,…

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