Poetry: Declarations of Small Consequence

He too loathed himself entirely before he came to the surface
And he too has some things he will take to his maker
And I thank him for warning me that it takes some time to cast off that darkness

Because it’s given me patience,
A virtue I never had much of
And amazingly, my soul is intact
Because it’s been some time
And I’m not calling
You see, I don’t miss anything,
I do not long or pine or pain or bathe in pity

It’s the future I long for
And I will not lose,
For my reach does not exceed my grasp
It was only a bramble in the path

And heaven is damn close to where I stand now
Trust me, I know it’s a long way from whence I came and only a short trip back
Well, rest assured, I’ll never go back
Because it wasn’t long ago I was the broken man,
Unflappable wings, unsteady heart

But I changed my disposition
And now it’s not much further to go
And there’s no secret longing,
There’s no Dear Amelia
There are no secrets I can’t die having not told now

Because I go to sleep like a baby
And I dream of what may come
G-d willing,
My redemption is near

I’ll make sure you know about it
Because it’s nothing to me now,
It’s nothing to do what you would –
But I would never,
Because family matters more to me than currency
So don’t think me your white knight
Because I would only ever give you a pearl necklace
Just a night

To be 29 again
Masculine and guilt free
It’s a year I’ll miss
All those quiet mornings and ocean swims
It feels like puberty again
Only this time I’m aware of my value

And this time I envy no man
And I see the spark of G-d in everything
And it feels like I have been born again
A son of the Stoa

Once a novice no more
Once again written in the book of destiny
We all die
But I’m content
And I think I’ll go back to sleep now
Because these declarations are of small consequence

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