Some Thoughts on Life from a 29 Year Old on an August Afternoon in 2014

Past a certain age, the guy in the room with the most money IS the alpha male.

Self-perception is reality. i.e., How we truthfully perceive ourselves isn’t far off from how others perceive us. Faking it only fools other fake people. If you want to change how people see you, you first have to change how you see yourself.

The best way to survive the character assassination of a breakup is to see it for what it is. Only a woman who loves you will tell you she fucking hates you. This matters little though, because she probably does hate you. Don’t take it personally; withstanding the chance your soon to be ex has exceptional character herself (or himself), being verbally cut down and trashed is pretty standard for a breakup. It’s easy to take it to heart, but you just need to remember that hurt people hurt people and hell hath no fury like a woman [lover] scorned.

What it means to have a healthy sex life: It’s important to figure out how to meet your sexual needs in the healthiest manner possible for your self-esteem and the self-esteem of your partner(s). To put this into context, it’s important to understand that sex is a basic physiological need in that, like all physiological needs (i.e., food, sleep), your relationship to it can either boost or depress your emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing. Don’t underestimate the power of sex in this regard.

The definition of manipulation is making someone feel a certain way to get what you want. Don’t forget this because manipulative behavior is always invisible unless you consciously identify what’s occurring. Remember, manipulative people often don’t know any other way to get their needs met because they figured out early in life that they could get what they wanted by manipulating the feelings of others. No matter how seemingly inconsequential the act, don’t reinforce manipulative behavior by succumbing to it. It’s not healthy for relationships. 99% of the time manipulative people don’t deserve your time, attention, or affection. Oh and when you start recognizing manipulative behavior for what it is, good luck calling someone out on it – it’s often invisible to the manipulator as well. Yeah, don’t use feelings as currency or tolerate those who do.

Don’t believe everything you think. Particularly when you are “in a mood”.

Managing your own psychology is the most important skill in life. And by “managing”, I don’t mean keeping things on an even keel all the time; but rather, the awareness of the impact of your mood on the quality of your thoughts – and the ability to weigh them accordingly.

The second most important skill is managing the psychology of the people around you. Think about this in the above context.

The best way to improve your self-esteem is to get shit done.

People who keep promises don’t make promises they can’t keep. People who don’t keep their promises have a history of letting themselves down as much as they’ve let others down. Your code of conduct with others is very much defined by your personal code of conduct.

The only way to get out of a mental or emotional rut is to change your state. Figure out how to do that in healthy ways. (i.e., Walking, music, a good night’s sleep).

The quality of conversation you have with yourself in your head determines the quality of your life story.

Sometimes life will suck, sometimes for a while. But your time in the sun will come again if you never give up. And when I say never give up, I am referring to ‘hope’. That’s the only giving up I think there is.

The Buddha never said the following and you shouldn’t base your life on it because you saw it on facebook and it sounded poignant: “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” // The truth is, none of us are capable of knowing what matters most in the end.

We should take everything with a grain of salt, lest we let others define our life.

Religion, society, rules, culture – these things are all constructs. Who you are is original, organic, and truly special (unless you prey on people – in which case fuck you). Anyway, you’re worthy of your hopes and dreams. Don’t let someone else’s life script convince you otherwise.

Remember who you are. And if you forget, it’s probably because you haven’t been treating yourself with the kind of love and care you would give to someone whom you truly, deeply loved. This my dear reader, you deserve of yourself – always.

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