Four Favorite Films

Having just had the sublime pleasure of watching Shawshank Redemption for the first time in my adult life, I immediately knew it would forever be one of my favorite films.

There are exactly three other movies which occupy an equally special place in my heart. So special that they feel as if they are an intangible part of my identity somehow; an intrinsic piece of the meaning and inspiration that drives me to create the story of my own life.

Some remind me to turn left, some remind me to turn right in life. They all remind me to just keep going.

Here is a piece of each.

The Count of Monte Cristo

Based on The Alexandre Dumas Novel written in 1844, The Count of Monte Cristo is the kind of movie that I want to go back in time just to watch again for the first time.

I would provide the trailer; however, the full film is available on Youtube and a trailer just wouldn’t do it justice. Enjoy.


Vanilla Sky

This movie is like a piece of art to me. Based on the Spanish film Abre Los Ojos, Vanilla Sky is like watching a music video – it’s simply beautiful.

Here is a scene that just chills my spine.

(incls spoilers;)


The Great Gatsby

What can I say, whether in book form or in either of the novel’s onscreen iterations, The Great Gatsby is a jazzy, yet raw piece that tells a story that we can all learn from in some way.

Here is a creative redux trailer for the original Gatsby film, starring Robert Redford.

And a tribute to Baz Luhrman’s Gatsby – featuring one of the soundtrack’s highlights.


Shawshank Redemption

There’s nothing I can say about this movie. It’s perfect.


Why I Write: Please Do Too

So, I’ve had this blog for about four and a half years.

From 24 to 28 years old, I’ve been writing here.

My focus has shifted, and it’s definitely as varied as my own ADHD driven mind, but it’s become an important aspect of my life; beyond that, it’s become an important facet of my identity.

Tonight, I put in my headphones and I went back and read from my first post – all the way to yesterday’s post.

The beautiful thing about writing and keeping a blog, is that you get to experience an archive of your life. And while this may seem like a narcissistic endeavor, it’s hardly a fruitless one.

There are many reasons why I write. Mainly, I want my grandchildren to be able to visit this. I can’t imagine how wonderful it would be if I could peruse my grandfather’s writings throughout his life.

Sure, I have facebook, but let’s be real, social media is akin to a holistic selfie; we get to portray ourselves in a manner absolutely designed for the consumption of others.

But a blog is more personal. Sure, I might meet strangers and tell them to check my blog out, but that’s because I write to share my generosity of spirit – and to me, that’s what art is: using your own humanity to create change in other people.

And that’s been a wonderful benefit of writing this journey. I get to connect to people in a very personal manner. Sure, I read some things tonight that in hindsight I perceived as perhaps vain, or just arbitrary in nature – but I’m okay with that.

I am a paradox. A self-described ‘very private person’ but meet me and I’m likely to tell you the realest shit that’s on my mind. That’s just how I’m built. I don’t know how to keep my heart in my pocket.

But I’m okay with that too. And that’s why I like writing so much, it’s a very vulnerable and personal thing.

I’m not going to go back and just delete everything I ever wrote just because I thought it was stupid for a moment in time.

At one point, it was my everything at that present moment.

I’ve lived in a handful of cities in as many years, and I’ve gone through this thing called life in the process.

Life: full of evolution, maturity, repeating the same damn mistakes, making new ones, learning, and hopefully growing along the way.

That’s the paradox of life: you grow, yet you remain the same. But that balance can easily be disturbed. One day you wake up and you hate your feelings and for a minute you hardly know who the fuck you are anymore.

You have to stay grounded. You have to stay true to you. You have to remember who you really are. It’s a damn difficult thing to do sometimes.

Which is why tonight, I felt like going back in time and this blog allowed me to rediscover feelings, memories, places, and people that are all too easy for me to forget.

It’s easy to lose that continuity of self-identity, but I feel like it’s a vital component of the self that must be retained in order to posses both a healthy perspective and a true sense of one’s own identity.

And I feel extremely fortunate to have spent the time putting my thoughts and feelings into words through this blog, because as a result I am able to augment my memory in a manner that surpasses my cognitive ability to posses these intangible aspects of myself.

I get older, my love handles rebel, my attitude and values change, my perceptions shift – but I am still that boy who lived in those places and shared my life with those people from my past.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in living in the past – I think it’s the most surefire way to depression, second only to self-pity – but the value of having a living reference outside of myself in this blog has allowed me to extend my identity beyond the present moment, and I think that’s a very healthy thing.

The neat thing about this blog, is that it’s hosted on, which means that it is FREE. And it will be forever.

So, long after I die – this blog will be here.

As Shakespeare so eloquently wrote in Sonnet 18: “So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

And in a world where so many of us pass without leaving something, my writing is my rebellion against that.

It’s for me, it’s for you, it’s for my grandchildren. It’s for the joy of my soul.

When I write, I get to enter this ethereal creative space, where my brain goes into a whirlpool of complete freedom. I get to be totally free. Totally original, completely in the flow of my words.

I listen to music, and I put whatever is in my heart into this blog: please do too.

And the

Poetry: Nearer The Dawn

Endless days
A sleepless dawn
A short day
The only light, machine’s light

Across my sea, the view’s so lonely dear Amelia
My eyes drift ever lower
Now she’s in the dark beside me
But she’s not nearing any closer

Trust there and back you’ll make it boy
That you’ll have her and that you’ll hold her
But you’ll never see dawn’s perfect light
If you don’t believe you already know her

Make dawn’s light old boy, she’s nearer now

Poetry: Once Again Find Why

Are you happy?
Are you just getting by?
The answer, affirmed or a nay
Lies in reasons why

It was there, quickly days unto years ago
But as muses and lost winnings go, better forgotten than never known
Because once again sweeping streets, will once again be a city owned

No, it wasn’t a fugazi
But who fucking cares
Today is your only chance at a tomorrow you’ll have to bear

So seek to find the fuse and the flint of task and path
You only have to need the answer badly enough and you’ll turn inward and ask

The answer is your how – for why and it are one and the same
Find it and you’ll close the gulf between dreams and plans laid

For it’s not the how but the why that drives trying or giving up
And the answer is the reason you’re not living or living up
Ask why you try or try not
Or forever ask why you’re just getting by

The Authentic Human – Phillip K. Dick

phillip_k_dickThe authentic human being is one of us who instinctively knows what he should not do, and, in addition, he will balk at doing it. He will refuse to do it, even if this brings down dread consequences to him and to those whom he loves. This, to me, is the ultimately heroic trait of ordinary people; they say no to the tyrant and they calmly take the consequences of this resistance. Their deeds may be small, and almost always unnoticed, unmarked by history. Their names are not remembered, nor did these authentic humans expect their names to be remembered. I see their authenticity in an odd way: not in their willingness to perform great heroic deeds but in their quiet refusals. In essence, they cannot be compelled to be what they are not. – Phillip K. Dick

Phillip K. Dick was an American Science-Fiction writer whose stories spurred film adaptations such as Minority Report, A Scanner Darkly, Blade Runner, and The Adjustment Bureau.