There is such a thing as being too stressed to give the love you have, or too hurt to feel the love you were given There is such a thing as being consumed by things bigger and smaller You won’t know the truth sometimes for ten years – And for the big things, twenty and…
I don’t know how the world ends, But I think this is how it begins As I walk outside, and whisper to the squirrels rustling beneath the deck: “It’s okay, I’m a friend.” And I know they feel me because I feel them Things have changed Welcome to the movie of our lives Suddenly, I…
Where snowflakes fall heavier than moth’s wings, And anxieties do set with sun, meltingly Dutiless, without menace: We shall be a flouredcent sea-slug, A baby dragon eating blueberries; preconscious peacefulness – grace: Sit on my lap and let’s create a story, no creeper, no power flex [fuck you david oldfield of del mar and all…
Now we will count to twelve and we will all keep still for once on the face of the earth, let’s not speak in any language; let’s stop for a second, and not move our arms so much. It would be an exotic moment without rush, without engines; we would all be together in a…
I’m a bloodless sport, But I’ve bled plenty, Concussions, I’ve had many: From rugby to punches, A broken childhood to liquid lunches… I know the songs of the vulnerable, The losses of the excluded, The longings, the implosions of the lonely, Am not some bourgeois, cheap thing; My metal has been tested AF; Tall as…
Orion’s bow points due North, And a 22° halo adorns the moon My nostos continues, but the war is over The truth is through with me now that I have relented to it, Granted pain, shame, suffering a seat at my lonely table, Having been disturbed by these ghosts so long, For few things can…
Leelah Alcorn You mean something, still, always I think of you most on tough days Anhedonia and dysphoria and the loneliness… the isolation… Days when personal heroics seem unimpressive, self-acceptance inadequate … I wish you had been loved! I too want that love; Self-love is not enough: Humans need human love (an artful amnesiac once…
smoking bowls in the back of adam’s jeep i wanted his hair, his confidence; i wanted noelle, who was in the front seat: that fair, short bleached-blond hair, lip glossed, pop-punk princess, my 2001 teen dream, yeah, that crush was a one way street… but i can still smell her body spray, cotton candy, i…
Oh Einstein I miss you buddy boy; We had some real adventures in our day, Out there in our woods All those walks, The hugs I would give you, the talks Taking you to my house for treats, Giving you yogurt for your gut All the rabbits and coyotes we spotted, chased off All the…
Poetry shit Life rich Hippocrite bitch Sad vibe Calm blood Yuppie Hippie… Devil may, I don’t – Am free: Time saved, Single years Here now Genius really Poor me Oh wait Getting over Growing older New feels No fear Hunger burn Watch me Unconscious, 3D Soft chest Treasured best Self love Big struggle Long coming…
That moment when you realize you will always have to have sex with you, likke, you’ll have partners, but still, you’re going to be the one interacting via your body – If you wanna have girlgasms, go for it Fuck the patriarchy She can eat the cookie, Glandulars Hehe I crack myself up, Can I…
It’s a paranoid android day And I hate everything I write [here] Because unlike my fiction, my feelings are true So these bottles float away, with messages of pain No more swallowing hopes, Though, I’ve lost it without Exes, this loners’ are unfriendly And I’m obsessed Loving the boy inside Letting the anima out There’s…
I dreamt of Bunny Waters [nee?] last night: She sent me a text with a horse emoji saying she was having ‘a dog of a time in life’, Then – as suddenly as happens in dreams – she was there with me, And I saw her, kissed her face, Melted, hugged her good, and felt…
Tonight, while on a long walk to an old haunt, I found myself singing softly to myself, as I often do when I don’t have headphones on. And while I sang a good handful of songs, from Teegan and Sarah to 2006 OG Kanye, the following are the songs that really held me down on…
Teach me how to be okay I feel like I’ve got 10 years left until we’re thirty-five Like, Yves, we’ll figure it out, On the downhill side of life I’m an anime full moon, sadness I’m a lonely high tide, always Doesn’t rhyme but it follows; Madness Sometimes puts me on on the spin cycle,…
It’s hard to return to form, After my last poem felt like pissing myself in public – the evidence of my pettiness: vulgar – No Diogenes am I But what am I to do, erase it, like some photo, imperfect – nah, Rather honor depression, though it hath left such deep lesions, And in them,…
A quick one for Sarah; I’m’a burn one, write one, take one more trip around the sun: For Her whom I wouldn’t be Me without – And maybe my name is blood on her tongue and tastes of iron, sweat, hemoglobin and metalloproteins; Heaven knows our toil, I, of the sea // her, of the…
I got nostalgic the other day, Wished we were going to Jah Healing, Stater’s, and back to the cabin, But it was never that great in real life – We were too depressed, too out of love, too unimpressed with each other – The dogs deserved better than that, And I hope they have it;…
the hurt grows heavier with time; all of this – without the friend(ssss) and family, to whom Lawrence is no longer alive – but this is just a sidebar, an aside: for I have my inner-child to provide for – to harbor – and we’re hardlly there, libidinal unclear, shellshocked, in repair, collide; what a…
the sadness deep: pain; poetry’s the only place the awake speak plain – maya, illusion, plato’s cave, we’re the shadow puppets they watch, on whose downfall sus glances pray from those who long fearing our rise, made sure we were imvisible to naked eyes, in poverty, blind, at the center of some labrynth
The first night you can’t sleep. You never sleep the first night. It’s not the discomfort but the excitement. The liberation. As a yoga teacher told me, “Happiness comes from liberation, and liberation comes from freedom, and freedom comes from courage.” So brave. So fucking brave. What won’t I do. So here I am, shirtless…
There’s a dresser full of clothes I’ve never known and they’re all your’s, Her’s; mine: our’s She – I – am – we are – thou: that girl from Seattle at 24 I never knew, who was in there all along, taking notes in Ballard; waiting Walked on sand to carry her but my feet…
I wanna go back, To the infinite, unending loneliness of the mountains: To the boy I motherfucking love (more than all this world) who was so goddamn heroic on his own Listening to ‘Lose My Mind‘ for days, With my Self and the sadness of months alone: Yes – I am there now, I remain…
It’s the little things, The girl who saw me walking behind her and held the girl’s room door open for me – though I just came out of the men’s… I suppose I want women to feel safe – A spell of jiu-jitsu classes and the pepper spray on my purse is my surety, But…
